entertainment
By Alexia Dellner
•
Published Feb 27, 2021
Additional reporting by
Nakeisha Campbell
There are only a handful of TV shows that we would happily watch again and again. They're the same ones that continue to stand the test of time (and that we can quote at a moment's notice) even though they went off the air years ago. Top of our list? The Office. The Dunder Mifflin crew didn't just crack us up with their crazy antics for nine seasons, but they also managed to teach us life lessons along the way (sort of—mostly they just made us laugh). Here, 40 of the best The Office quotes that ought to be framed, from Michael Scott's words of wisdom to Dwight Schrute's laugh-worthy one-liners.
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1. “would I Rather Be Feared Or Loved? Easy. Both. I Want People To Be Afraid Of How Much They Love Me.” — Michael Scott
He didn't earn that "World's Best Boss" mug for nothing.
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2. “it Just Seems Awfully Mean. But Sometimes, The Ends Justify The Mean.” — Michael Scott
Michael Scott didn't always get common sayings and expressions quite right. Another favorite? "Well, well, well, how the turntables."
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3. “whenever I'm About To Do Something, I Think, 'would An Idiot Do That?' And If They Would, I Do Not Do That Thing.” — Dwight Schrute
Just ask yourself—what would Dwight do?
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4. “and I Knew Exactly What To Do. But In A Much More Real Sense, I Had No Idea What To Do.” — Michael Scott
When Dwight stages an all too real fire drill in season five, his poor co-workers think that they've been trapped inside a burning building. Michael then gets real about how ill-prepared he was for an emergency.
5. “if You Pray Enough, You Can Change Yourself Into A Cat Person.” — Angela Martin
Oh, Angela—the most devoted cat lady there ever was.
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6. “i'm Not Superstitious But I'm A Little Stitious.” — Michael Scott
Same, Michael. Same.
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7. “i Just Want To Lie On The Beach And Eat Hot Dogs. That's All I've Ever Wanted.” — Kevin Malone
Kevin saying what we're all thinking.
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8. “wikipedia Is The Best Thing Ever. Anyone In The World Can Write Anything They Want About Any Subject. So You Know You Are Getting The Best Possible Information.” — Michael Scott
A classic Michael Scott line uttered in season three when Darryl approaches him about getting a raise. Everyone's favorite boss turns to Wikipedia to look up "no-fail negotiation tactics." It goes as well as you would imagine.
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9. “disposable Cameras Are Fun Although It Does Seem Wasteful And You Don't Ever Get To See Your Pictures.” — Erin Hannon
Sweet, sweet, Erin.
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10. “that's What She Said.” — Michael Scott
The most Michael Scott of all Michael Scott quotes.
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11. “'r' Is Among The Most Menacing Of Sounds. That's Why They Call It 'murder' And Not 'mukduk.'” — Dwight Schrute
He makes a valid point.
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12. “i Am Beyoncé, Always.” — Michael Scott
Fair.
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13. “sometimes The Clothes At Gap Kids Are Just Too Flashy, So I'm Forced To Go To The American Girl Store And Order Clothes For Large Colonial Dolls.” — Angela Martin
Not relatable but definitely funny.
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14. “i Declare Bankruptcy!” — Michael Scott
To which Oscar replies, "I just wanted you to know that you can't just say the word bankruptcy and expect anything to happen." Michael: "I didn't say it. I declared it."
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15. “yeah, I Have A Lot Of Questions. Number One—how Dare You?” — Kelly Kapoor
Kelly, giving us all a lesson in sass.
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16. “i Wish I Could Menstruate... I'd Be More In Tune With The Moon And The Tides.” — Dwight Schrute
Dwight at his finest.
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17. “sometimes I'll Start A Sentence And I Don't Even Know Where It's Going. I Just Hope I Find It Along The Way.” — Michael Scott
Don't we all know someone like this at work?
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18. “i Am Fast. To Give You A Reference Point I Am Somewhere Between A Snake And A Mongoose… And A Panther.” — Dwight Schrute
Quite possibly the most Dwight quote of the entire series.
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19. “I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to tune myself out.” – Kelly Kapoor
One of Kelly's most impressive skills, TBH.
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20. “If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die.” — Stanley Hudson
We've totally been there, Stanley.
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21. “I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.” — Pam Beesley
Fun fact: To prepare for this scene, Jenna Fischer and BJ Novak went out together, got drunk, then analyzed how they felt. Talk about dedication.
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22. “Who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of a game is that?” — Kelly Kapoor
It's certainly a risky one.
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23. “Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, and then sometimes I actually do scream. I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for.” — Kelly Kapoor
Reason #864 why we love Kelly.
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24. “Who is Justice Beaver?” — Dwight Schrute
And of course, Jim gave the best response and said, "It's a crime-fighting beaver."
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25. “When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that.” — Pam Beesley
Cece is one lucky girl!
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26. “We have a gym at home. It’s called the bedroom.” — Phyllis Lapin-Vance
To be fair, a lot of calories can be burned in there.
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27. “I guess I’ve been working so hard, I forgot what it’s like to be hardly working.” — Michael Scott
Totally explains that "World's Best Boss" mug.
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28. “Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three.” — Michael Scott
We could get with this motto.
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29. “I don’t talk trash, I talk smack. They’re totally different.” — Kelly Kapoor
Count on Kelly to give a master class on Trash Talk 101.
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30. “I wanna do a cartwheel. But real casual-like. Not enough to make a big deal out of it, but I know everyone saw it. One stunning, gorgeous cartwheel.” — Creed Bratton
You totally deserve it, Creed.
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31. “Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick.” — Kevin Malone
Clearly, Kevin and the Cookie Monster would be instant BFF's if they met in real life.
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32. "I don't care what they say about me. I just want to eat." — Pam Beesly
Basically us at any party.
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33. "Break me off a piece of that...fancy feast." — Andy Bernard
We can appreciate Andy's remixed version of the Kit Kat jingle.
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34. “I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms.” — Michael Scott
Two very solid qualities, if you ask us.
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35. "I am running away from my responsibilities and it feels good." — Michael Scott
Anyone else tempted to do this at least once a week?
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36. "I stopped caring a long time ago." — Creed Bratton
Creed casually describing his tendency to steal is a mood.
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37. "Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica." — Jim Halpert
We'll never forget Jim's spot-on impression of Dwight as he said this famous line.
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38. "I understand nothing." — Michael Scott
We've been there too, Michael.
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39. "For my new year's resolution, I gave up drinking...during the week." — Meredith Palmer
Always good to start small.
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40. "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." — Andy Bernard
Definitely hanging this one on our wall.
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Alexia Dellner
Executive Editor
Alexia Dellner is an executive editor at PureWow who has over ten years of experience covering a broad range of topics including health, wellness, travel, family, culture and...
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Nakeisha Campbell
Associate Editor, News and Entertainment
Nakeisha has been interviewing celebrities and covering all things entertainment for over 8 years, but she has also written on a widerange of topics,like career...
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