You’ve got all the kindness and goodness in you that you need already, Brantley says.
You can work on cultivating it more, but you’ve already got it innately in you. “Just think about anything you did in the last 24 hours that was kind,” Brantley says.
1. Recognize the Acts of Kindness You’re Already Doing
Did you hold the door for somebody? Did you smile at a stranger? Did you water a houseplant that looked like it was thirsty?
Even if you feel like a novice when it comes to, say, loving-kindness meditation practice, he says, “you’re not a novice to kindness.”
2. Try a Kindness-Centered Meditation Practice
One way to cultivate kindness is to try the loving-kindness meditation practice Brantley started doing begrudgingly at that retreat decades ago.
Start with a short, online-guided loving-kindness meditation, such as one found on Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center’s website. The instructions suggest lying down or getting into a comfortably seated position while doing this type of meditation. Once you learn how to do it, you can use their written script to practice it on your own.
“If one is feeling kind of numb,” Brefczynski-Lewis says, “such as with empathy burnout, connecting with the warmer feelings of loving-kindness can help in really seeing the humanity of the person in front of you, whether they are your family member, a customer, a patient, or a grocery clerk.”
She recommends that if you’re just starting out with the practice, go slowly, and don’t choose people you find very difficult to send kindness to until you build a bit more confidence in this particular meditation skill.
“I've even done the practice right before meetings with people I've had some difficulty with, and find they go surprisingly much better than expected,” Brefczynski-Lewis says.
3. Start With Gratitude
Researchers of one study also suggest that expressing gratitude toward someone else for something kind they did may be a good way to kickstart your own kindness efforts. They theorize that gratitude toward others may encourage people to “pay it forward” with kindness.
4. Begin Big
If you’re just starting out your journey in doing kind acts for others, set aside one day to focus on that kindness. One study suggests that picking one day a week to carry out five acts of kindness provides larger increases in well-being than if you were to perform five kind acts over the course of several days.
That doesn’t mean you should stop there — kindness can be practiced everyday — but honing in on your efforts over the course of one day can show you how good it can feel to reach out to others, inspiring you to make it a regular part of your life.
5. Show Yourself Kindness
Being kinder to yourself is a huge component of being kind overall, and practicing self-compassion has numerous wellness benefits, researchshows.
This can be tough to do, especially if you’re often self-critical, but a few exercises for starting a self-compassion practice can be found on the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion, cofounded by Kristin Neff, PhD, kindness researcher and associate professor of educational psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. Some include: talking to yourself as if you were talking to a friend, using writing to release feelings of shame, and repeating a kindness mantra during difficult situations.
FAQs
Kindness, or doing good, often means putting other people's needs before our own. It could be by giving up our seat on a bus to someone who might need it more, or offering to make a cup of tea for someone at work. Evidence shows that helping others can also benefit our own mental health and wellbeing.
What are the benefits of kindness on health? ›
It can decrease blood pressure and cortisol, a hormone directly correlated with stress levels. People who give of themselves in a balanced way also tend to be healthier and live longer. Kindness can increase your sense of connectivity with others, decrease loneliness, combat low mood and improve relationships.
What is the definition of being kind? ›
Kindness is the quality of being gentle, caring, and helpful. We have been treated with such kindness by everybody. Synonyms: goodwill, understanding, charity, grace More Synonyms of kindness.
What are 5 ways to be kind to others? ›
We just happen to have a few:
- Compliment someone in a meaningful way. ...
- Give someone a boost in difficult times. ...
- React with compassion when someone is rude or inconsiderate. ...
- Say thank you. ...
- Smile at strangers.
Here are some tried and true ideas for how to be kind with those special people in our life.
- Surprise them with an unexpected visit or phone call.
- Give them a big hug.
- Express your empathy. ...
- Give them a handwritten card or letter.
- Babysit for free. ...
- Write them a letter.
- Make them a meal. ...
- Go visit your parents.
Kindness is an abstract concept that describes a way of doing good deeds through having a friendly, considerate, and generous nature. In its most condensed form, is a way of showing love to the people around you. Spreading kindness has become such an important part of life that we have an official day for it.
Why is it important to be kind? ›
It helps to make the world a happier place – one act of kindness can often lead to more! Acts of kindness can make the world a happier place for everyone. They can boost feelings of confidence, being in control, happiness and optimism.
What is the deeper definition of kindness? ›
It's being selfless, caring, compassionate, and unconditionally kind. Like love, it takes practice to understand and feel it. We share love with others through kind acts such as a smile, a nice word, an unexpected deed, or a planned surprise.
What is kindness in your own words? ›
Kindness is the sincere and voluntary use of one's time, talent, and resources to better the lives of others, one's own life, and the world through genuine acts of love, compassion, generosity, and service. Moreover, kindness involves choice.
What truly is kindness? ›
Being kind is more than simply being nice to others. It's about showing empathy, compassion and understanding. It's about treating others the way we would like to be treated. And it's about recognizing we all have struggles and challenges, and that a little bit of kindness can go a long way.
Most people grew up with the old adage: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Best known as the “golden rule”, it simply means you should treat others as you'd like to be treated.
What are 3 acts of kindness? ›
50 random acts of kindness you can do today
- Call a friend that you haven't spoken to for a while.
- Send a letter to a grandparent.
- Send flowers to a friend.
- Offer to pick up some groceries for your elderly neighbour.
- Send someone a handwritten note.
- Offer to babysit for a friend.
- Walk your friend's dog.
Pay someone a compliment – And be sincere about it! Participating in random acts of kindness toward others can help increase your well-being. An easy way to do this is to pay compliments. Research has found that people tend to underestimate the positive impact of complimenting others.
What is a good quote about kindness? ›
You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach. Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out.
How to be genuinely kind? ›
Take an interest in people.
They do it because they genuinely care about how people are doing and want those around them to be happy and healthy. To be more kind, work on developing an interest in other people and show them that you care by being attentive, asking questions, and paying attention to them.
What is a real life example of being kind to others? ›
Offer to walk a neighbour's dog for them. Wash someone's car for them. Make someone breakfast in bed. Stop to talk to an elderly person.
Why is being kind important in healthcare? ›
Research has shown that patients who receive compassionate, patient-centered care are more satisfied and willing to comply with their medical treatment, which leads to positive patient outcomes. Kindness, as perceived by patients, may even reduce the severity and duration of the common cold.
How does kindness boost your immune system? ›
Feeling happy generates dopamine and serotonin. Feeling uplifted or excited can produce the brain's natural versions of morphine. It is also known that feelings associated with empathy and compassion produce oxytocin. It seems that they also produce products that alter immune function.
What does kindness do to the heart? ›
“Research shows that kindness can be cardioprotective. It can decrease blood pressure and cortisol, a stress hormone, which directly impacts stress levels. Oxytocin releases nitric oxide. Nitric oxide dilates your blood vessels and thereby reduces your blood pressure and improves heart health,” says Dr.
How does being kind to yourself affect personal health? ›
Past studies have associated increases in parasympathetic activity like this with reduced cortisol levels, improved immune system functioning, effective emotion regulation, and physical and psychological health, including cardiovascular health. Being kind to yourself can literally be good for your heart.
