Should You Text a Guy If He Hasn’t Replied? Expert Advice (2024)

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Learn the art behind knowing when to text a guy (and when not to)

Written byJohn Keegan|Edited byHunter Rising

Last Updated: May 7, 2024Fact Checked

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  • How long should you wait to text a guy who’s not responding or reaching out?
  • |
  • What should you say when you text him?
  • |
  • How often should a guy text you if he likes you?
  • |
  • Video

Has the guy you liked stopped texting you, and you’re not sure how long to wait before texting him? Or maybe you just went on a date with a great guy and you’re not sure how long to wait before texting him afterward. Either way, waiting for a text from a guy you like isn’t fun. Luckily, you don’t have to wait on him forever. Keep reading to learn how long you should wait to text the guy you’re into, plus what to say when you finally text him.

This article is based on an interview with our dating coach, John Keegan. Check out the full interview here.

Should You Text a Guy If He Hasn’t Replied

Give it a few days if you’ve just texted him. After 2-3 days have passed, send a short, simple question to see how he’s doing. If he doesn’t reply to that, wait another 3 days and try sending one more text. Keep it short, sweet, and upbeat to encourage a reply.

Section 1 of 3:

How long should you wait to text a guy who’s not responding or reaching out?

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  1. Give it a few days (or even a week). Just because a guy hasn’t reached out yet doesn’t mean he’s not interested – he still could be! It might feel tough waiting for him to text you, but your crush might truly be busy and unable to respond to your messages right away. Waiting 2–3 days or up to a week before reaching out gives him a chance to text you first once he realizes what he’s missing.[1]

    • If you’ve waited more than a week and still haven’t heard back from him, it might be time to move on. It’s really hard when a guy flakes out on you, but there are other people out there for you! You deserve someone who appreciates you and your time.[2]
    • If you just went out on a date with the guy, text him within the next day if you had a good time so he knows you’re still interested in him. You may have heard of waiting a few days for the “3-day rule,” but that makes it seem like you’re playing games with his feelings.[3]
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Section 2 of 3:

What should you say when you text him?

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  1. 1

    Send a simple question asking how he’s doing. You could start a brand new conversation or you can bring up something that you mentioned in your last text as a reminder.[4] If you really want to grab his attention, mention something he’s interested in to hook him back in. That way, you still sound light and bubbly without pushing him too hard.[5]

    • “Hey you 😊 how’s your day going so far? Mine’s just getting started but I can tell it’s going to be busy already haha.”
    • “Hope you’ve had a good past couple of days! What have you been up to? I finished that book that I mentioned when we last talked and OMG it’s so good!”
    • “Hi! You’ve been on my mind a lot lately 🥰 How are you?”
    • If you’re texting after a first date, try, “Hey 🙂 last night was so much fun! Let’s get together again soon! ” or, “Hi again! I loved going out and getting to know you 😊 how are you doing today?”
  2. 2

    Avoid getting upset at him. Rather than accusing the guy of ignoring you or leaving you on read, keep your messages lighthearted to nudge him back toward the conversation. Guys are more likely to respond if you talk about positive topics, so he might reach out again if you show him that you aren’t upset or worried about losing him.

  3. 3

    Act like you’re excited to talk to him. If you try to make a guy chase you, it might seem like you’re playing games with his feelings. Since he’s already become a little distant, doing the same thing to him will only make it feel like you’re further apart. Show him that you’re eager and want to have a good time with him by adding some emojis and exclamation points to your messages.[6]

    • “Hey you! 😊 I hope you’ve been having a good day! I can’t wait to see you again!”
    • “Hey! How have you been? I’ve just been busy thinking about what to do for our next date 😉”
  4. 4

    Send him just one message and wait for him to reply. Sending a wall of texts can make it seem like you’re being pushy and may overwhelm him. After you send one message, put your phone down and spend time doing something else to take your mind off your texts.[7]

    • If he still doesn’t respond to your message, then you deserve to move on and chat with someone that appreciates you.
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Section 3 of 3:

How often should a guy text you if he likes you?

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  1. Guys will usually text a few times a week if they’re interested. When a guy wants to get to know you more, he’ll want to reach out a couple of times in between dates to get to know you better. He’s still living his own life and staying busy, so he might not be able to text you all the time, but he’ll still stay in touch so you know he hasn’t moved on yet.

    • Most times, a guy will reach out first if he’s into you, but that shouldn’t stop you from texting him and starting the conversation if you want to talk.
    • If he’s really into you, you can usually expect at least one text from him every day.[8]

Improve Your Texting Game with this Expert Series

Not sure how to text a guy to get his attention and keep him interested? We’ve put together this series of expert articles to help you text easily and confidently.

1Text a Guy on a Dating App2How Often Should a Guy Text You in the Beginning?3Text a Guy After the First Date5Get Attention from a Guy over Text6Ask a Guy to Hook Up over Text

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      References

      1. Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
      2. Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 22 September 2021.
      3. John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.
      4. Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
      5. John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.
      6. John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.
      7. John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.
      8. https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a56567/what-his-texting-time-really-means/

      About This Article

      Should You Text a Guy If He Hasn’t Replied? Expert Advice (32)

      Written by:

      John Keegan

      Dating Coach

      This article was written by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been viewed 212,219 times.

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      Co-authors: 8

      Updated: May 7, 2024

      Views:212,219

      Categories: Texting

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      Should You Text a Guy If He Hasn’t Replied? Expert Advice (2024)

      FAQs

      Should You Text a Guy If He Hasn’t Replied? Expert Advice? ›

      Give it a few days (or even a week).

      Do guys care if you don't text back? ›

      No two guys are the same, and there's a wide variety of thoughts he might have after you stop lighting up his phone screen. If a guy is interested in you, chances are he'll be inspired to try even harder to get your attention. However, some might move on or give up after too much silence.

      What to text him when he doesn't reply? ›

      A genuine compliment or kind comment can get his attention fast. Some guys don't respond because they don't think they're making progress. If you want to signal that you like him, this is a great way to go. People are attracted to people who make them feel good, so say something that will put a smile on his face!

      What is the psychology behind not replying to texts? ›

      If someone isn't responding to your texts, they might just be taking time to process your message and come up with a response. Text anxiety, ADHD, or digital burnout are also possible reasons that someone might feel too overwhelmed or anxious to reply to your text right away.

      When should you not text a guy? ›

      When You Should Stop Texting a Guy. If you've already texted him, wait to receive a response before texting again. If he never messages you first and only sends one word replies, he might not be interested. You might want to stop texting him if he never wants to hang out or doesn't talk to you in person.

      Should I text him if he's not responding? ›

      Give it a few days (or even a week).

      Waiting 2–3 days or up to a week before reaching out gives him a chance to text you first once he realizes what he's missing. If you've waited more than a week and still haven't heard back from him, it might be time to move on.

      Do guys care if you stop texting them? ›

      Since you aren't messaging as often, he'll be curious about what you're up to and want to chat. If you stop texting him completely, he may think that you've moved on and aren't interested in him anymore.

      What to text when he ignores you? ›

      What to reply when he ignores you?
      • Express Concern: "Hey [Name], I've noticed that our communication has changed recently. ...
      • Open Communication: "I value our connection, and I've noticed that things seem different between us. ...
      • Seek Clarity: "I hope I haven't done anything to upset you.

      Does slow replies mean lack of interest? ›

      It is essential to recognize that delayed replies do not always indicate disinterest or lack of care. It is crucial to consider the context and individual circ*mstances before making assumptions about someone's intentions or feelings based on their response time.

      Is no response a rejection? ›

      They may reach out and genuinely keep the conversation going. Or, they may treat you as though they didn't see you. Again. So, to answer the question, it may be a bit unfair to say that no response is always a rejection – especially if you just shot someone a message on social media.

      When a guy is online but ignores you? ›

      If he is ignoring you, it could be an indication that he needs some space or time for himself. Lack of Interest: Unfortunately, one of the possibilities is that he may have lost interest or is no longer interested in continuing the relationship or friendship.

      When a guy leaves you on Unread? ›

      Lack of interest: If someone consistently leaves messages unread, it could indicate a lack of interest or investment in the conversation or relationship. Miscommunication or misunderstanding: Sometimes, messages can be misinterpreted or misunderstood, leading to confusion or uncertainty.

      Is he waiting for me to text him? ›

      Yes, guys sometimes wait for you to text first.

      While some guys like to make the first move, others are a bit shy. Don't be afraid to make the first move! Pay attention to how the guy acts around you. If he smiles and talks to you, he might like you back.

      Do guys get attached through texting? ›

      A lot of studies have shown that texting is a great way to start a romance, especially because of how convenient it is and that it doesn't make the people involved feel the ‌a*wkwardness that comes with meeting in person. So, yes, it is possible for a man to fall in love over text.

      When to give up on a guy texting? ›

      Should I stop texting him? 20 key things to consider
      1. 1) He brushes you off in real life. ...
      2. 3) He doesn't initiate conversations. ...
      3. 4) He had ghosted you at least once. ...
      4. 5) He takes ages to respond. ...
      5. 6) You're just a booty call. ...
      6. 7) You're the one doing all the work. ...
      7. 8) He talks through you. ...
      8. 9) He doesn't know boundaries.

      What does ignoring a man do to him? ›

      Ignoring a guy can sometimes lead to creating doubt and desire in his mind. This can happen because men often enjoy the thrill of the chase, and when you take a step back, it can make him want to pursue you. By not being readily available, you're showing that you're confident and independent.

      Is it rude to not respond to a text from a guy? ›

      unless that message is abusive in nature, in which case it's best to ignore it. but it is pretty rude not to reply to someone within a few hours.

      What does he think when you don't contact him? ›

      He'll wonder if you miss him at all.

      He might even go so far as to think you're already seeing someone else if he can't get in touch or see you on social media. This is a very uncomfortable time for him. He's struggling to understand why you're not responding to his texts, or what you might be feeling in return.

      Can a guy like you and not text back? ›

      Just remember he has a life, a job, or maybe school and can't always text as often as you may be able to with your life. Just because he doesn't respond right away doesn't mean he's lost interest. It may mean that he is busy. Assuming anything else unnecessarily can lead toward a more toxic relationship.

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