What does it mean to age “gracefully?” - williscc.com (2024)

• May 25, 2023
• 12:36 am

At the risk of stating what to many likely seems obvious, getting older is not easy. Aging is hard, regardless of what your age is. Many of us live in a society where aging leaves us feeling more and more left behind, left out or even invisible. This seems particularly true in the United States, where our elderly often are regarded with some measure of disdain. So, how do embrace aging, as it is, after all, inevitable.

In the United States and elsewhere, both men and women are often bombarded with images and advertising urging us to use “anti-aging” this, that or the other thing. We are encouraged to fight wrinkles and cover up graying hair. We are told that once we reach a certain age, we likely will lose our vitality and be more prone to illness and injury. We are told that we cannot keep up with technology and we sometimes may feel as though the world is moving so fast, we truly cannot keep the pace. But there are steps we can take to embrace our advancing years, regardless of whether we are turning 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 or older.

One of the things we can do to embrace our age is to remember and be thankful for all our bodies continue to allow us to do. Yes, we may no longer be able to run or walk as fast or as far as we used to or shoot hoops with the young folks at the gym without getting winded, but that does not mean we have to give up physical activities or our favorite sports. Be grateful for what you can still do and embrace the possibility of considering different kinds of movement. Perhaps we may not be able to run marathons as we enter a new decade but perhaps we can run half-marathons, 10ks or 5ks. The point is to keep moving. Maybe that means more gentle movement such as yoga or tai chi or walking. Regardless of what activity or sport you enjoy, remember that it is okay to be thankful that your body continues to allow you to move, even if perhaps that movement is different now.

Aging gracefully also means that we can and should be kind and compassionate with ourselves and others as we may find ourselves entering new phases of our lives. Can you be patient with yourself as you navigate what seems like ever-changing technology? Would it be helpful to take a class about computers or cell phones so that you can keep up with the younger folks in your life? Perhaps a friend or family member may be willing to show you around your cell phone so that you can keep up with family and friends via text and video chats. Perhaps you could find a tutorial about how to use the webcam on your computer so that you can Skype or FaceTime with your friends and family. The more we give ourselves permission to seek assistance with ever-changing technology, the less we may feel left behind or left out.

As we age, we may notice relationships changing or that our friends and family are either moving or perhaps dying. It is particularly important as we age to maintain not just our romantic relationships, but our platonic relationships, as well. That may mean reaching out to friends more often and scheduling get-togethers with those who are important to us. We are in an epidemic of loneliness as some may find that the older we get, the more isolated we feel. That may mean finding new and creative ways to forge new connections. Maybe that means joining a book club or gardening club. Maybe that means volunteering for a cause you find important. Maybe that means tutoring younger folks or teaching driver’s ed. Whatever you do, remember that we are wired for connection and our relationships, be they romantic or platonic, need tending to even more so as we age.

For some of us, aging means coming to terms with our changing appearance. We may start to feel as though our appearance is not what it once was and that can leave us feeling anything from sadness and grief to shame and fear. Some of us may feel that our bodies have somehow betrayed us as we notice our mid-sections expanding and our muscle tone changing. Some of us may notice more wrinkles and gray hair as we age. These are not signs that our bodies are failing us. These are signs that we are in the midst of change. And change does not have to be viewed with fear or sadness. There is beauty to be found in all faces and bodies. Perhaps it may be helpful to focus on those parts of you that you do find beautiful. Perhaps it may be helpful to eschew society’s definition of beauty and embrace your own unique beauty. And, again, try practicing self-compassion when you look in the mirror. Our bodies at 50, 60, 70 or older may not look the way they did at 20, 30 or 40. That does not mean we are not beautiful. It just means we are entering a new phase of our life.

We can choose to embrace aging as a natural, normal part of life by practicing gratitude for our changing faces and bodies, being thankful for what we still are able to do. We can embrace aging by seeking assistance with technology so that we can better keep up with life, our family and friends. We can embrace aging by tending to both our romantic and platonic relationships. We can embrace aging by practicing self-kindness and self-compassion, and by extending that same kindness and compassion to those around us.

Aging is not easy. It does not matter if you are in your third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh decade or beyond. What can you do to age with grace? What steps are you willing to take to feel your best as you age? Aging with grace is possible, if we only give ourselves permission to do so.

~ Karri Christiansen, MSW, LSW, CADC, CCTP